My journey to self love

5 Ways to practice self love

What is self love?

This is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

Self love is a journey because we have to constantly choose to love ourselves even when it becomes hard. As a wife, mom of a toddler and newborn, I can say my days are pretty busy. Most days I don’t have time for myself. As a black woman and mom we are taught to be strong and resilient. To take care of everyone around you except you. You forget about yourself so much you begin to loose yourself. You begin to loose your self esteem and confidence and then fall into a state of depression.

Self love can mean something different for each person because we all have different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self love means for your as an individual is an important part of your mental health.

Always remember you can’t give what you do not have. For you to effectively love your friends and family you have to love yourself first.

With that being said I’m going to tell you 5 ways in which I practice self love.


Just 5-30 minutes everyday were you sit quietly to be in tune with your mind, body and spirit. There are different types of meditation and I practice spiritual meditation. I try to pray every morning and night and this helps me to kickstart and end my day when I know my life and day’s activities is in God’s hands.

2. Accept that perfection doesn’t exist and accept your flaws/ Stop comparison

We are living in an increasingly image obsessed culture and the concept of perfection can feel unavoidable. With social media dictating what a perfect person should be like. Perfection is unattainable. In fact, if you ask 100 men what a perfect woman is you will have about 100 different definitions. Loving every inch of your body and know that what we see on social media is just a snippet of peoples’s real lives.

3. Self Care

Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live in“. Jim Robin

When you begin to realize that you have only one body then you will nourish it with the proper nutrients. That is eating healthy meals, exercising regularly, drink lots of water, get enough rest and go easy on the alcohol and unhealthy food. Have a skin care routine, journal and have fun. If this are habits you are struggling to incorporate start by adding one new habit each week. Create a schedule and just start.

4. Be kind to yourself

Talk to yourself like you will talk to your best friend. We tend to be kind to others and unkind to ourselves. We focus on the things we have done wrong instead of forgiving ourselves like we forgive others. It’s okay to make mistakes if and only if we don’t dwell on that. Give yourself some grace you are only but human. You can still be kind and polite while practicing the power of no. This took me a long time to learn because I was a people’s pleaser. When I finally mustard the courage to say no it was the best thing I ever did for my mental health.

Knowing when to say no is a way to honor your time, space and energy. Do not be afraid to put you first.

5. Rinse and Repeat

Self love isn’t a destination, but rather an ongoing conscious choice. Continually check-in with yourself to make sure those old insecurities or new ones aren’t creeping in.

It’s important to know that self love isn’t loving every single thing about yourselves 100% of the time, that’s not realistic. Self love is acknowledging and then dismissing our unhealthy thoughts and choosing to give that energy to the things that make us happier, stronger and more fulfilled.

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